


Time After Time

by storias



Category: Gravity Falls, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Rick and Morty, South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Crossover, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, here we are, i wrote this awhile ago tbh, not sure how i feel about it but, reader's kind of a douche lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10655421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storias/pseuds/storias
Summary: The arrival of a letter is something so trivial, isn't it? And most of the time, no one really expects it to do much. Except when it's a giant credit card bill, but that's beside the point. What happens when the arrival of this letter turns the life of [Name] [Surname] upside down and on its ass?Various/Reader





	1. The One with the Letter

Fingers rapidly pressed against the gamepad of the controller held in a young woman's hands in an attempt to get the upper hand on her opponent. Said opponent was the person she was sitting next to, shoving them away with her shoulder aggressively as they both fought for dominance. Unfortunately, the young woman seemed to be fighting a losing battle, but as it was, her ego was at stake, so she was not prepared to admit defeat just yet.

There was one final explosion, and with that came the pop-up of the letters that clearly stated, **GAME OVER** , in large bold letters, "Boosh! In your face, [Name]! What are you gonna do about that, huh? I totally destroyed your ass!"

"Well, I _could_ always gouge your eyes out before roasting your head on a stick; ever heard of Lord of the Flies?" [Name] retorted, hoping that her friend would get the reference, but since they weren't much of a book person, they probably didn't. Either way, the reference didn't really work since the head they put on a stick was a pig head, but maybe... Wait. Was her mind making some sort of connection to this? Perhaps her subconsciousness felt that deep down, that's all her friend was to her. A swine. Well, a cute swine because her friend wasn't ugly, so you know... Whatever. That entire metaphor just took a giant shit on itself.

"Oh whatever, [Name], don't start making murder references just because you can't stand losing to me. This happens every time, you know," shit they were right.

"No, it's just a bad day is all. I couldn't- I couldn't really sleep last night," this was [Name's] weak reply.

"Dude, you literally took a nap like, an hour ago."

"A nap doesn't make up for an entire eight hours of sleep loss, Wendy."

"I thought you said sleep was for the weak?" Oh, Wendy's got a point there, [Nickname].

"I was _high_. I say a lot of things when I'm high," way to blame drugs on this, [Name]. Way to freaking go.

Wendy rolled her eyes at [Name's] joke, but the [hair color] haired girl kept a straight face; as per always. An expert at deadpan snark that one is, yes indeed.

With a sigh, the redhead stood up and stretched, popping a few joints before relaxing again, "Yeah, well, I'm gonna go ahead and get going. I've gotta meet Tammy for some... stuff. I forgot what it was but she said it was gonna be wicked. You want in?"

As Wendy walked over to retrieve her ushanka from the couch, [Name] took the time to contemplate the offer. Should she go and have a really cool adventure with Wendy and Tammy (which would possibly involve getting into some deep trouble), or should she just stay home and continue to weave a cocoon around herself so that she would be able to keep living in isolation from the rest of society forever? "Nah, I'll pass, Wen," resisting the temptation of staying home and wasting her life away on the internet was futile; [Name] just couldn't help it, you know?

"Alright, _Alpha Dork_ , have it your way," Wendy tucked some of her red hair behind her ear before firmly placing her hat on her head, emitting a look of displeasure that refused to leave [Name's] form. Noticing that she had already turned her attention away from her and back onto the screen again, Wendy let out a short breath, shrugging her shoulders, "Right. I'll catch you later then, hermit." And with that, Wendy made her way out but stopped shortly when [Name] called out to her.

"Wait, Wendy," [Name] was looking pretty serious right now. Think she's gonna change her mind and go be a teenage rebel with Wendy after all? "H-Hold on a sec, you gotta- you gotta do me a favor right quick. Just- just real quick, I promise."

"Yeah, sure man, what's up?"

"Can you bring me the mail? You know, on your way out?" Was [Name] joking? Is _this_ what she wanted? Wendy's eyes narrowed, and she crossed her arms over her chest in disapproval. Suddenly exasperated, [Name] responded accordingly, "It's just a short distance away from the house, y-you know that right? It's- It's not that hard."

"You're such a lazy ass, [Name], I swear," frustrating, yes, but typical? Definitely. And so, Wendy exited out of the living room and out the door, and a minute later, today's mail was shooting through the hatch. [Name] didn't really want to get up and go get it now, so she would just leave that to her parents.

Interestingly enough, said parents decided to randomly show up just as the thought of them was about to depart from her mind. Coincidence? "Honey, we're back! Did you eat anything while we were gone?"

" _Yes_ , mom, I-I ate something. Do you really have to ask me that every time you get back from somewhere? I'm not a little kid anymore," yes, it was true. Every time [Name's] parents would come back from one of their outings, their first question for [Name] would always relate to whether she's eaten or not. It wasn't really without purpose, though. [Name] used to be lazy to the point where she wouldn't make herself food even if she was starving. Pretty irresponsible, right?

With a nervous laugh, [Name’s] mother sort of put a pin in the conversation, so to say, “No, honey, you’re not.”

“She’s only _sixteen_ , Mia, of course, she’s still a child.” As always, [Name’s] father insisted on the idea of [Name] still being his little girl. It was as if admitting that she was older would mean that _he_ was getting older too - which was true regardless.

“Dad, face it. You’re getting old; who cares? Anyway, there’s some mail on the floor; y-you might want to get it,” [Name] interrupted, taking a swing from the can of soda on the coffee table behind her. There was a small glare that was sent his daughter’s way, but he complied, and Mia disappeared into the kitchen shortly afterward.

Mail in hand, [Name’s] father followed his wife into the kitchen and took a seat on one of the chairs by the kitchen table, discarding the small stack of envelopes and advertisement papers in his hand onto the table’s surface. He watched his wife as she began to make preparations for today’s dinner in silence, but after a few minutes, he spoke up, “You know what I find strange, honey?”

“What do you find strange, Marcus?” Mia responded tiredly.

“Despite our daughter spending almost no time with him at all, it feels like we’re living with your Uncle. She acts _just_ like him, minus a few things here and there - because you know, the monthly. But it’s like she takes after him instead of me! She inherited _none_ of my genetic traits, personality and appearance wise, and that’s always pegged me as a little strange...” Marcus trailed off as if he were afraid to say what was next, “Did you by any chance…?”

Facepalming, Mia turned around and glared at her husband, “Marcus, we _always_ have this conversation, and my answer is _always_ going to be the same. Now so help me, if you ask me one more time, I’ll say yes, just to spite you.”

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry, okay? You can’t blame me for thinking that way, though! I’m pretty sure that if you were in my shoes, you would think the same thing.” And with that, Marcus relented, leaving Mia to do what she was previously preoccupying herself with.

With nothing else to do, Marcus decided to busy himself with sorting through the mail. His fingers shuffled through the white envelopes, separating the ones that were bills from the ones that were thank you letters from some of Mia’s clients. So far, though, nothing had come in the mail for Marcus [Surname]. It was kind of a pity, especially since getting something in the mail tended to brighten his day. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was just something about having your name printed on a white canvas and having it personally mailed to your own home that brought some sort of indescribable happiness to Marcus’ life.

After a while, Marcus quickly discovered that there really was nothing for him today, which caused his mood to drop a little. That didn’t last long of course because something willed him to look down at the floor. There, resting upon the checkered tile, was a rather fancy looking envelope. And with an equally fancy looking font, it read: ‘To the [Surname] Family’. Suffice to say, Marcus was pleasantly surprised, “Hey, Mia? Come look at this.”

Looking over her shoulder, Mia halted, wiping her hands on her apron as she made her way over to see what Marcus was on about this time. With the letter in her line of view, Mia read the mailing address aloud, “To the [Surname] Family, huh?”

Now that his wife was with him, Marcus went ahead and opened the letter, taking in its contents with his eyes. After they were done, confusion was the only expression that remained on their faces. They both made their way back to the living room, seeing that their daughter had moved from the floor to the couch. She had pulled up Netflix.

Marcus called out to the [hair color] haired girl, “[Name], do you have any idea what this is?”

[Name] turned her head to look at both of her parents, “Listen, if that’s the credit card bill, I swear to you I had nothing to do with it.” She looked back at the television nonchalantly.

Marcus and Mia looked at each other in confusion, and Mia frowned disapprovingly at her daughter, “What are you talking about, [Name]?”

The girl was forced to do a double take, “Oh, is that not the bill then? Either way, I’m-I’m innocent. The bankers are liars Mom, they’ll do anything if it means tricking you into higher interest rates.”

Resisting the urge of inquiring further, they both walked over to the couch, sitting on either side of their daughter. Marcus was the first to speak, “Honey, what do you know about Olympus Academy?”

“Nothing. Sounds kind of douchey though.”

Mia followed up, “Well, a letter just came in the mail notifying us that you have met certain… qualifications to be able to apply to this school. And from the looks of it, it seems like this Academy is really prestigious.”

Blinking, [Name] turned away from the television to look at her mother, “So you’re saying that I should apply to this school?”

“No, I’m just saying you should think about it,” Mia handed the letter to [Name] for her to read, “Here, take a look. Read the whole thing, and if you still don’t want to go, then that’s fine.”

Taking the letter from her mother’s hands, [Name] briefly scanned it with her eyes before reaching over and placing it on the coffee table in front of her, “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ll think about applying?” Mia asked hopefully.

“No, I’ll think about reading it," [Name] corrected.

It was then that Marcus decided to step in, “Young lady, you know well enough that you can’t live with us forever. Eventually, we’re going to kick you out of the house, and then what? You’ll probably be living on the streets because you’re too stubborn to go to school, and your mother isn’t persistent enough to force you to go to school. Is that what you want? To live on the streets only to potentially die of AIDS or something?”

“Marcus-” Mia interjected.

“Mia, no, [Name] needs to hear this. We’ve been too soft for too long,” Marcus gave his daughter a firm look, “[Name], you’re going to go to that Academy whether you like it or not, do you hear me?”

Sighing deeply, [Name] countered, “You do know that the CIA offered me a position, right? Even if you do kick me out, I won’t be living on the streets because I’ll be making more money than the both of you combined. The only reason why I’m still here is because they don’t hire minors.”

Defeated, Marcus replied, “Wait, the CIA? Are you serious?”

“Yeah, the CIA. Do you need a hearing aid already? Seriously, Dad.”

In an attempt to prevent an argument from happening, Mia took [Name’s] hands in hers, “[Name], I know you may be a little rough around the edges, but you’re still my daughter, and I only want what’s best for you. If you don’t want to go, that’s fine, but you have to remember, that no matter what, I’ll always be rooting for you, sweetie.” [Name] kept quiet after this, and Mia took this as some sort of answer, “We’ll leave you be then. Come on Marcus.”

“Wait, you’re just going to let her off the hook? Mia, we talked about this! What did I-”

“Marcus, shut up. Let’s go.”

After the two of them left, [Name] repositioned herself on the couch and unpaused _House, M.D._ , the show she was previously watching on Netflix. For some reason though, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of the letter on the table… Did her mother’s words get to her? Probably, [Name] always had a soft spot for her Mom, oddly enough. There was also something in the back of her mind that kept telling her that maybe, just maybe, going to that Academy would turn out to be a good idea.

Curiosity getting the better of her, [Name] made a grab for the letter, deciding to read its contents.


	2. The One with the Smiths

It was a cold morning, so cold, that when [Name] let out a breath, she could have sworn she saw some snowflakes dance around in the mist of her breath. Luggage in one hand and her backpack in its proper place, [Name] waited to board the bus. Her destination? Somewhere in California ***** \- probably San Francisco or something.  
  
Now, [Name] wasn’t really fond of having the bus as a method of transportation; long or short distance, the bus was still a horrible way to travel in her opinion. Everyone was all bunched up, you had to sit next to people who probably smelled worse than dog shit, and to top it off, the bathroom was almost always occupied. If it wasn’t, well, it was probably empty for a reason.  
  
“Ticket, please,” the voice of a woman caught [Name’s] attention, which caused her to instinctively dig into her pocket to pull out what the woman had asked for, “I need your identification card, too.” Without a word, [Name] did so, almost routinely. She still wasn't sure why she needed to show her ID twice. If she showed it when she paid, couldn’t they assume that she was already in the clear since they allowed her to buy a ticket in the first place? Idiots. “Have a nice trip, sweetie.”  
  
“Uh-huh,” [Name] replied, making her way to the bus and up its steps. [Eye color] eyes searched the bus for a suitable space to settle down; preferably somewhere that wasn’t already occupied by someone else. It would also be a good idea not to sit too close to the bathroom, just in case a being decided to bomb the place. And then, her prayers were answered. A little towards the end of the bus was an empty seat. A small smile managed to sneak its way onto her face and she quickly made her way over.  
  
After tucking her luggage away in the storage space just above her head, [Name] sat near the window, placing her backpack on the empty seat next to her. For extra precautions, [Name] made sure to make herself seem extremely unapproachable, and just like always, it worked. Praise her resting bitch face. It also helped to ignore every request she got to move her backpack, but that rarely happened.  
  
Once everyone was in their seat and the bus finally started moving, [Name] dug through her backpack, figuring that now would be a good time to read all of those personal letters that were dumped on her when she left. All in all, there was only three letters; well, two letters and a package. [Name] went ahead and read the one that was first in the small pile, which happened to be from Wendy. Opening it up, [Name] read the following:

_[Name], you're an asshole, I hope you know that. What the hell were you thinking anyway? That it would be funny to just leave without saying goodbye? Well, the joke's on you, because I'm not gonna miss you, you douchebag._

_Ugh, what am I saying? Of course, I'm gonna miss you, man._

_Seriously, though, it's gonna be kinda lonely here without you. Sure, you're kind of a dick- wait, I take that back, you're a HUGE dick, but... it works? In a weird way? Hah. By the way, Tammy said that you better answer her texts, otherwise, I'm pretty sure she's gonna find a way to murder you or something. Robbie said that he's not gonna miss you at all because he hates your guts, but we all know how much of a big fat lie that is. As for everyone else? Well, they could care less really, mostly because you never bothered remembering their names. That's... your fault._

_Alright, since I'm pretty sure we're not going to see each other for a really long time, I think it's a good idea to tell you something while I still have the chance._

_You know how when the twins were here, and Mabel would drag you around on their adventures? And she said something about how you really needed to stop being such a cynical asshole?  Well, I think spending time with them helped you out, a lot. And I think you leaving is going to help you, too. There's really nothing for you here anymore. It makes me bummed that you had to leave, considering what I'm about to tell you in a bit, but I know that this is for the best. You know that too, right?_

_Anyway, I know you say that you don't care about anyone but yourself, but the fact is, you've done a lot for me since we've met, and you kind of mean a lot to me. I don't want to get all mushy with you since I know you're like, allergic to that stuff (I am too), but I just wanted you to know that. And I don't mean that in a 'friendly' way if you know what I mean. It's pretty crazy since I didn't even consider playing for the same team until I met you, but well, shit happens, you know?_

_Awkwardness aside, I'm just gonna repeat myself and say that I'm gonna miss you. Really. You better call me and ask me to Skype or something because if you don't I'm gonna find you and kick your scrawny ass, haha._

_Later Alpha Dork,  
                _ _Wendy Corduroy_

Okay, yeah, it was probably better if that one was saved for last. That letter basically just destroyed [Name’s] usual composure. She was probably blushing or something, and sort of starting to feel guilty about treating Wendy the way she did. But hey, at least she treated the redhead significantly better than the others, right? Oh god, she hoped so. Well, Wendy did end up developing feelings for her, so she probably _did_ treat her better.

Moving onto the package that was from Wendy as well, [Name] opened it up, revealing an all too familiar baseball cap. On it, there was a sticky note: _By the way, I want you to give this back to Dipper. There’s something in there that he’s probably gonna want to see. Stanford told me to give it to him whenever I had the chance. Plus, just think how he’d react when he sees you! He’s totally gonna flip his shit, haha!_

Right, [Name] had nearly forgotten that the Pines lived in California. She probably wasn’t going to see them, but if she did, she would have to remember to give Dipper his cap back, and whatever else was in the package. With that mental note stored away in her mind, [Name] moved onto the next letter:

    _[Name], sweetie, I really hope you didn’t give any of the Greyhound employees any trouble. You tend to do that whenever we take the bus, so please, just this once, hold your silver tongue. I don’t want you to be kicked out, especially since we’re not there to take you back home! But, if you’re already reading this, I’m going to go ahead and assume the best. In which case, I’m very proud of you!_

_Your father and I are going to miss you very much, honey, and life without you is going to be very lonely. Remember me and behave, okay? Your Aunt Beth loves you very much, but she’s less… tolerant than I am, so promise me you’ll cut her some slack? And cut your Uncle Jerry some slack too; he’s a bit more difficult, but please, sweetie. Don’t._

_By the way, it’s been awhile since we've seen your Aunt Beth, but I want to let you know that you have another cousin named Mortimer. You remember that day I told you about him, right? Anyway, please treat him well. He isn’t the most intelligent child, so bare that in mind._

_If I hear about you giving any trouble to him, or Summer, you are so gonna get it, young lady! - Dad_

_I love you very much, sweetheart. I hope you have a great time, and remember to eat! Call me whenever you can, and don’t forget to write (if you can)!_

_Love,  
   Mom_

Typical parents often result in a typical letter, and this one was no exception. Luckily, it was written by [Name’s] Mom, so that much gave her the strength to read through the whole thing. [Name] would be too proud to admit it, but… she was gonna miss her mother.

Now finished with reading the letters, she put them back in her backpack, pulling out her phone and placing it on airplane mode. [Name] then took out her earphones and placed them where they were supposed to go, turning on some tunes for the long road ahead.

* * *

The bus arrived at about… two o’clock post meridiem? It had been a while since [Name] checked the time, so that was sort of just a guess. Currently, though, she was waiting for her ride. They had promised to be there by the time she got there, but they weren’t. Which was… expected. It was a wonder why she even bothered getting her hopes up.

So she was just on her phone, watching Netflix with her earphones still plugged in. Thankfully, the bus had some outlets to plug her phone charger into, so she hadn’t slept. At all. Whoops? Not like it was any different from what she usually did at home, though.  
  
Feeling eyes on her, [Name] turned around, seeing that the man that had taken the seat next to her was staring at her intently. With a groan, the girl removed one of her earphones, “What?” He only smiled, testing [Name’s] patience, “Seriously, what the fuck are you looking at, motherfucker?” Seeing how unnecessarily intense she was, the guy backed off, “Yeah, I didn’t think so, asswipe.”  
  
Everyone was staring at her now, she could feel it. But before she could say anything else, there was a voice in the distance that stopped her. Knowing who the aforementioned voice belonged to, [Name] gathered her things, “About fucking time.”  
  
A man was quickly nearing her position, someone [Name] recognized to be her Uncle Jerry. Damn, she could already feel an eye roll coming on, “[Name], is that you? Haha, wow, you’re so big now! It’s been such a long time!” Once he was close enough, he opened his arms, expecting a hug.  
  
“Yeah, whatever. Greetings aren’t necessary,” The hug went by ignored, obviously, and instead, [Name] shoved her luggage and backpack into his arms instead, “Let’s just go. I’m done with these assholes.” She began making her way out, gesturing for Jerry to follow, “You coming? Or are you just gonna stand there like- like you have a dick up your ass?”

A nervous laugh escaped his lips, but Jerry followed regardless. He caught up to her within a few moments, struggling a little bit with the load, “So… how was the trip? Not too horrible, I hope.”  
  
“Oh, it was wonderful! The service was great, we got free food, and we even sang songs together as some sort of bonding ritual! I even made some nice friends!”

Jerry smiled, relieved that his niece wasn’t as mean as he initially thought, “That’s great! What are their names? And where are they now? Did they already leave?”  
  
“Their names are ‘fuck’ and ‘you’. And I sent them on a one way trip up the ass of the guy who didn’t want to leave me the fuck alone,” Jerry frowned dejectedly. “What did you want me to say? A bus is a horrible place, Jerry. I don’t even- I don’t even know why I agreed to this.” He opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted, “That was a rhetorical question.”  
  
It was best for him to just remain quiet, so Jerry did just that. Once he neared the car, he set her things on the ground before grabbing his keys and unlocking the car doors. He watched as his niece got into the passenger seat with a sad sigh, moving on to putting her things in the back. And when that was settled, he went and took his place in the driver’s seat, closing the door and starting the ignition - not without putting on his seatbelt of course.  
  
As the car moved forward, Jerry debated on whether or not he should try and make a conversation with his niece or not. It had been a while since they’ve seen each other, and frankly, he had sort of missed spending time with her. She was so cute when she was little, and the memory of [Name] and Summer playing together brought a smile to his face. He figured that she was just a little cranky from the long drive, so he decided to test his luck, “So, [Name]? How have you been? Are your parents doing well? How’s school?”  
  
In response, [Name] counted down the answers to his questions with her fingers, not looking up from her phone even once, “First of all, I hate small talk, so I’m just going to be sarcastic and say that I’m fantastic. Second, my parents are doing fine, but I don’t care elaborate. And finally, I dropped out of school a millennium ago because everyone there’s an idiot and the school system is worthless. Does that answer all of your questions?”  
  
Jerry narrowed his eyes, pursing his lips together. This… was going to be harder than he initially thought, “Don’t you think dropping out of school is a little rash…? Especially at your age. It’s going to be a little difficult landing a job, you know, considering the requirements these days.”  
  
“That’s a stupid question, so don’t expect me to answer it.” It was stupid? How so? “Either way, I could care less about- about your average day employers. I’ve got a backup plan, anyway.”  
  
“Care to elaborate?”  
  
“Nope,” and that was that. Jerry concluded that there was just no way he would be able to carry a conversation with his niece. Maybe if he gave her a little more time it would be possible? He certainly hoped so, “Hey, can we- can we go to In-N-Out or something? I’m starving.”

“Sure.” Ladies and gentleman, I present to you Jerry Smith, the biggest fucking tool in the Universe.

* * *

After having a meal, [Name] went relatively back to normal. Jerry theorized that this was the inherent cause of her grumpiness from earlier, but just to be sure, he would just drop her off at his home and speed off. Summer would probably be able to handle settling her down. He had other things to do. Important things.

So as he pulled up to his house, Jerry’s eyes flickered from his property to his niece, “Well, this was a… nice opportunity to catch up, [Name]. But here we are. I still have a few other things to do so, yeah.” She rose an eyebrow, but didn’t question him further, stepping out of the car, “I’ll see you later, [Name].”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later, Jerry,” [Name] then grabbed her things and watched as her uncle sped off right after she had everything she needed. The noise his car created was rather loud, and she could already feel an oncoming headache, “I need some coffee.”

[Name] approached the door of the Smith residence, and knocked loudly enough for anyone on the other side to hear. There was no response for a while, but as she rose her hand to knock again, it was opened, revealing a boy a little around her age. [Name] only assumed that this was her younger cousin Morty, whom she had yet to meet.

“Uhm,” Morty nervously glanced from side to side, his cheeks reddening, “W-Who are you?” Why was he so embarrassed? Maybe he was shy when it came to meeting new people for the first time. Hopefully, he knew who you were.

“[Name], nice to meet you, kid,” for once, she had greeted someone with proper decorum. Extending her hand in greeting, [Name] feigned a smile, which probably wasn’t very convincing. Either way, Morty bought it, shaking her hand. At contact, she took note of how sweaty his palms were; gross, dude.

“I-It’s nice to meet you too, [Name],” once he let go, [Name] became less willing to be friendly. She wiped her hand on her clothes and let herself in, taking in her surroundings. Closing the door after her, Morty followed after his cousin in confusion, “S-So, uh, are you here to see Summer or- or are you…?”

“Nah, I’m a student studying abroad, and since I have nowhere else to stay, your parents will be hosting me until it’s time for me to go.”

“O-Oh, that’s… cool. Where, uh, where are you f-from?”

“Guess.”

“W-Well, geez, y-you look like you can be from anywhere!”

“Try again, Mortimer.”

“H-How do you know my name? I-I mean, my real name? Jesus, t-that’s so weird! Aaahh,” At this point, his blush was fifty shades darker; he looked like he was constipated or something.

Rolling her eyes, [Name] decided to take this little charade a step forward. Throwing an arm around his shoulder, she pulled him close, cupping her hand to whisper in his ear, “You wanna know how I know?” Too embarrassed to even speak, he settled for a nod, “I’m an alien.”

Pulling away, he looked at [Name] incredulously, “Seriously?” He didn’t seem that surprised.

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Was that it? Was that all he had to say on the matter? [Name] expected a reaction much more different than this; maybe he would freak out or something. Could it be that he was desensitized to that kind of thing?

“Wait, who are you?” A new voice entered the scene, and [Name] looked towards the source of the voice. Descending down the staircase was a young woman, a phone in her hand. She was looking between [Name] and Morty, her expression changing from confusion to acceptance, as if she had figured something out, “Oh, are you Morty’s girlfriend or something?”

She couldn’t believe her ears, oh my god. How funny would that be? This misunderstanding was way out of hand. Holding back a laugh, [Name] replied, “O-Oh yeah, definitely. This- this guy right here,” she pulled Morty close again, “He’s- he’s my boyfriend. Yes, lovely observation.”

“W-Wait what?!” Morty looked at her as if she had gone absolutely insane.

“It’s true. Don’t worry, Morty. All we have to do is go to Japan, then it’ll be legal.”

“W-What the heck do you mean? Y-You’re saying that i-it’s illegal? A-Are you eighteen?”

Facepalming, [Name] decided to reveal the truth to these poor sods, “You’ve gotta be- Morty, no, we’re cousins. _Cousins_ , do you know what that means? Do you know the exact definition of it?”

“I-”

“Tell me the definition, Morty. Come on, I know you know this. You’re smart enough to know this, Morty.”

“A cousin is the child of someone’s uncle or aunt, right?”

“Yes, Morty. And who’s your Mom’s cousin, huh Morty?”

“Aunt Mia?”

“ _Yes_ , so that makes me your first cousin once removed. _Comprende_?”

It took a while for the both of them to process this new information, but Summer seemed to get it more quickly than Morty, “Wait, _you’re_ [Name]? My dad said we used to play together all the time when we were kids!”  
    “Yeah, well, I was like, two years old or some shit like that, so I don’t remember; but yeah, sure.” This made Summer run down the stairs and envelope [Name] in a hug, “Okay, that- that was unnecessary.”

Her discomfort went by ignored, “Oh my god, it’s been forever! How have you been? Why are you here? How long are you staying? We have a shitload of things to catch up on! Come on, you can stay with me in my room!”

"Kill me now." As Summer grabbed [Name’s] hand and attempted to pull her upstairs, Morty grabbed her other hand, appearing as if he had something important he really needed to say.

"Y-You can't just take her for yourself! W-What about me? I-I didn't even know she existed until now! Let me spend time with her!"

Okay, so, you know how there are these weird instances in some video games where they prompt you to make decisions that will probably end up biting you in the ass later on in the game? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm gonna do here (to a lesser degree, though). Pretty cool, amiright? Ah, freedom is such a wonderful thing; God Bless America!

So anyway, who are you going to waste, I mean, spend valuable and possibly meaningful family time with? Summer or Morty?

**[ _I want to spend time with Morty!_ ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10655421/chapters/23579892) **

**_[Lemme catch up with Summer!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10655421/chapters/23579961) _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, yes, Rick and Morty are going to be side characters in this. More importantly, though, no one is really sure where the show takes place, but some say the Smiths live in California, so I'm going with that.


	3. 1α. Family Fun Time with Morty Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s option one, and also your first choice! So exciting! I hope you’re happy because there probably won’t be anymore! I think it’s only fair that [Name] has the choice of how she is going to suffer; I’m not that much of a dictator, you know. Well, in actuality, the dictator here is you, in a sense, since you empowered and willed [Name] to make this choice. An interesting concept, really. Now, I wonder where that leaves us…? Looks like free will is an illusion after all, huh?
> 
> So, here we are, you decided that you wanted [Name] to spend time with Morty, so you’re going to get just that. In fact, that decision is being made right now.

[Name] loosened her hand from Summer’s grip, earning an annoyed look from the strawberry blonde, “I think I’ll make my own decision, thanks,” she walked back down the stairs (Summer had pulled her up a few) and ignored the shine in Morty’s eyes, walking back towards the living room with Morty hesitantly following after her.

Said boy rubbed his shoulder nervously, pursing his lips as he glanced around his home; it was as if he was completely unfamiliar with the place and was just taking his surroundings for the first time, “S-So, uhm, what do you want to do first? W-We could also sort of, you know, just talk i-if you want.”

Plopping down on the couch in front of the television, [Name] thought of a reply with a contemplative look, “Hmm, no. Small talk is too practical and boring for me.”

“O-Oh, really? I would've never guessed, haha,” he was beginning to get nervous; he was probably grasping at straws right about now, “D-Do you, like video games? I have a few if you want to play.”

The offer was tempting, but Morty seemed like the type who would indulge in games like Call of Duty. Personally, [Name] preferred games with a bit more of… a psychological impact, so to say. Products with trashy and dark humor were accepted as well, however, “Eh, maybe later.”

After this, Morty sort of deflated, settling with just sitting on the couch with his cousin. It was quiet as he just watched [Name] channel surf, with an occasional glance at [Name] herself from time to time. He really wanted to know about his newly discovered cousin, but she was just so… difficult, for the lack of a better word. And then an idea came to him, “Hey! O-Our grandpa installed this- this really c-cool cable box that allows it to get channels from all over the universe! Do you want to watch some of that stuff?”

Trying not to laugh at his consistently cracking voice, [Name] decided to humor him. It wasn’t every day she heard about such a thing. Although, her mother did tell her a little about her great uncle, “Sure, I guess.”

Morty visibly brightened that his cousin finally seemed to agree with one of his suggestions, and immediately flipped to his and Rick’s favorite channel, “W-Well, I’ll just give you a demo of one of my favorite shows, Ball Fondlers!” The blaring action that usually came hand in hand with said show caught both of their attention instantly.

“ _Ball Fondlers_?” [Name] repeated.

“Y-Yeah, it’s- it’s kinda weird, but it’s really good, I swear!” After a few minutes of watching the show, [Name] couldn’t help but discreetly concur with Morty’s opinion. It was inherently idiotic, but enjoyable nonetheless. That probably wasn’t the reason why _Morty_ liked it, but eh, each to his own, am I right?

Unfortunately, they were watching an episode that was already halfway through, so it ended rather quickly, “That’s it?”  
  
“Yeah… Did you like it, though?”

“It was pretty weird, but I guess it was cool.”

“S-See! That’s w-what I said! I knew you’d like it though!”

[Name] shrugged her shoulders, and changed the subject, “Wait, you said your grandpa made this, right? Where is he now?”

“H-He’s in the garage, right now. D-Did you want to go see him or something?”

[Name] sighed, shaking her head, “Nah, I’ll see him eventually.” Morty accepted her answer with a shrug of his own, and proceeded to busy himself with finding another show that they could possibly watch together, “By the way, you’ve got good taste in television shows, kid.”

“R-Really? Geez, thanks for the compliment, [Name].”

“Yeah, well, I ran out, so don’t expect any more until I get a fresh new batch delivered next month.”

**(Morty's Friendship: ⇮10)**


	4. 1β. Family Fun Time with Summer Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s option two, and also your first choice! So exciting! I hope you’re happy, because there probably won’t be anymore! I think it’s only fair that [Name] has the choice on how she is going to suffer; I’m not that much of a dictator, you know. Well, in actuality, the dictator here is you, in a sense, since you empowered and willed [Name] to make this choice. An interesting concept, really. Now, I wonder where that leaves us… Looks like freewill is an illusion after all, huh?
> 
> So, here we are, you decided that you wanted [Name] to spend time with Summer, so you’re going to get just that.

[Name], knowing full well that she wasn’t going to be able to free herself from Summer’s death grip anytime soon, gave into her cousin, “Well, it’s not like I can escape from the inevitable.” Smiling, Summer dragged her up the stairs the rest of the way, leaving a disappointed Morty behind.

Once inside her room, Summer let go of [Name’s] hand, leaving her to rub her palm to ease the pain; Summer was way stronger than she thought she was! “Sooo, this is my room! It isn’t much but, what can I say? My parents didn’t really say anything about you coming around, but since you’re here, I’m only guessing that you and I are going to have to share rooms.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s the natural assumption.”

“That’s what I thought,” With confirmations out of the way, she went over and plopped on her queen sized bed, gesturing for [Name] to take a spot next to her. Not really thrilled about the idea, [Name] simply settled for the floor, trying to not pay attention to the strange look Summer had given her right after, “Wait, you’re not like, really messy, are you? I don’t want to be a bitch or anything, but, if you are, then you can’t stay in my room.”

Well, talk about blunt, that was fine though, [Name] personally preferred it this way. Beating around the bush was always an unnecessary waste of time, “Nah, I’m clean.”

“Okay, good. Now that that’s out of the way, we can finally catch up!”

[Name] sighed deeply, mentally bracing herself for the onslaught of questions that were probably going to follow, “What do you want to know?” Wait, no, this wasn’t her style, “I take that back. How about we not?”

“Oh, you’re _that_ type of girl, aren’t you? That’s cool, I’ll respect that,” well, that was easy, “Okay then, why are you here, then?”

An easy question, “Well, I got this letter from this one school, and it’s all prestigious so my parents wanted me to go. So, here I am.”

“Really? Are you going to Olympus? Grandpa Rick says those guys are assholes.”

“Then I’m in for a real treat.” Summer smiled at [Name’s] sarcasm, and took out her phone, pushing it into [Name’s] hands, “What?”  
  
“I heard that they have dormitories, so I might as well give you my number now. You know, just in case you have to live in the dorms.” She extended her hand, expecting [Name] to place her mobile phone in her palm, just like she did moments before. Seeing no harm in the action, [Name] complied.

After exchanging numbers, Summer picked up the conversation again, “My Dad told me we were super close when we were little kids. And since I have no other cousins, it’d be cool if we could be as close as we were in the past.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” a lie, but it resonated as a truth, so Summer bought into it. She lurched forward and enveloped [Name] in a bone crushing hug, “A-Aww, shit- I-I can’t… breathe!”

Embarrassed, Summer let go and apologized, “O-Oh, sorry, I guess I’m just sort of new to all this extended family thing.” All this unwanted attention was sort of starting to get to [Name], in all honesty.

“I don’t really think it’s all that big of a deal-”

“What?! How can you say that?! Of course, it is, [Name]! You’re my family!” Perhaps Summer’s enthusiasm for this whole situation stemmed from the simple want of wanting another family member old enough and young enough for her to be able to empathize with and vice versa.  
  
"Yeah, guess it is a big deal, then," yet another lie that Summer was willing to buy.

"Exactly! Trust me, [Name]. You and me? We're going to have so much fun together!"

"Yay." Oh boy.

**(Summer’s Friendship: ⇮10)**


	5. The One with Rosie O'Donnell

After what felt like years, it seemed as if you were finally beginning to settle in with the Smiths. They generally left you alone—with the exception of Morty, who loved to bother you for some reason—so all was well, and you didn't have much to complain about.

There was only one thing you couldn't really form a concrete opinion on, and that was your Great Uncle Rick. You had the privilege of encountering him a few times, and honestly... he was odd. You didn't mind him, but there was something about him that reminded you of something—something that made you unspeakably angry.

He was pretty cool, there was no need to lie about it. There was nothing better than having some kooky old coot performing odd experiments and going on bizarre adventures with his favorite grandson. Sometimes you were even a bit jealous of Morty, but Rick's behavior and personality...

"Oh, h-hey, [Name]! Are you busy right now?" Morty's puberty infested voice broke through the barriers of your mind.

You turned towards him with a frown, "I'm always busy, leave me alone." Your response caught him a bit off-guard, but he bounced back rather quickly, which kind of annoyed you. Seeing as he wouldn't back off anytime soon, you sighed and gestured for him to go on.

"Grandpa Rick wanted to know if you... y-y'know, wanted to come along today?"

"Why?"

"I-I don't know, but I... I think you'd like it. Maybe?" the expression on his face made him look like he was constipated. It was kind of funny actually.

But why would Rick want you to come? He always talked about how his adventures with Morty had a strict _'No Girlz Allowed!!'_ policy—which is fucking stupid, by the way—so why invite you now? Especially when he didn't even want to invite _Summer_?

"Hmm, no thanks. You nerds enjoy yourselves, though," as soon as the words left your mouth, all hope drained from your cousin's eyes. It was pretty dramatic of him, but you didn't care, at least not too much, "I've gotta go anyway. That stupid orientation's today I think."

"W-Wait! Do you have a ride? M-Maybe me and Grandpa Rick can take you!" persistent much? The fact that he wanted to spend time with you was becoming more and more apparent. But hey, you'd never say not to a free ride.

"If it shuts you up, fine, I'll bite," you replied with a shrug.

His face lit up, "alright! What time do you have to get there?"

You checked the time on your phone; it started at around 10:30 a.m. (which was a weird time to you), so that meant, "it starts in about twelve minutes. No rush, though."

"N-No rush?! Isn't it thirty minutes away?!" you shrugged in response to Morty's question; how the heck should you know? Either way, he started sweating bullets and immediately began to pull you towards the garage. Despite being perfectly able to walk there yourself, you weren't really in the mood to protest. You didn't sleep at all last night, and why would you? It's a crime to waste time on sleep when you had a bunch of video games to play.

Rick was already in the garage of course, noisily working on something you didn't want to know about. He noticed the two of you run in, and he raised an eyebrow, "the shit's with you? You look like you just ran from Summer's room after taking a shit on her bed, Morty," he then turned to you, "why'd you bring her along, huh, Morty?"

"Grandpa Rick, she-she needs to get to the Academy right away!"

"So? Not my fucking problem."

"I don't really want to go either, to be honest."

"See? She doesn't want to go, problem solved Morty," he turned back to his work, "leave me alone now, I'm busy."

You felt a bit of deja vu when you heard this, and that familiar feeling was starting to come back. You suddenly felt angry at him, and so, you said the following, "no, you know what? I changed my mind. Take me to the Academy, you old dick. I came here for a reason."

Rick rolled his eyes, "Ohh, good one! Dick jokes are—they're just classic. I'm still not taking you, though. It's my car and I do what I want with it, and that includes deciding on whether or not I'll take you. So screw off. Go watch that anime porn you're so fond of."

"You mean Hentai? Oh, right, if I recall correctly, I heard you pulling your meat to that the other night; must suck being so lonely," if you were throwing insults at each other, might as well tell the truth, right?

He blinked and almost seemed shocked by what you had said. Did you catch him off guard? You wouldn't be surprised if you did; you tended to have the same impact on most people.

"You saying you were spying on me? Sorry, kiddo, but this—this isn't gonna work. I'm not into that," and that was the first time you ever regretted saying anything. You felt your cheeks flush—that wasn't what you meant! You weren't spying on him! You almost felt as if you were going to die right on the spot. What the hell were you thinking?

"That's—no, I-I didn't—you—I was just," you were at a loss for words; this has never ever happened to you before. But you _really_ weren't spying! You just happened to pass by and... and... you were going to throw up.

Noticing your reaction, Rick let out a loud laugh and got up from his seat, "You—You're pretty fucking stupid. But you tried—she tried, didn't she Morty?" the dark haired boy just nervously looked away, feeling secondhand embarrassment for you, "anyway, I'll take you, but only because you just made yourself look like an idiot."

He took a swing of beer before stepping into his car—or was it a hover-car? Spaceship? You didn't know and you didn't care. Normally you'd be hesitant to enter a vehicle with a driver who has alcohol in their system, but judging by the mountain of bottles in his car, you had reason to believe that Rick could hold his liquor.

And so, you begrudgingly stepped into the thing and strapped yourself in. After today, insulting and insinuating things with Rick would be one of the first things you'd regret doing. Be prepared to regret many things from now on.

* * *

After an agonizing period of time with both Rick and Morty in the same space as you, you finally arrived at your destination. You waved goodbye to Morty and purposely avoided eye contact with Rick until they were out of sight.

You began to make your way to the academy entrance, and, once there, you were asked to present proof of your enrollment at the academy. Figuring that what they meant was the letter, you showed it to them; this seemed to do the trick and they let you in right away.

To say that it was bigger than you imagined it would be was a grave understatement. No, this place was ginormous. You were starting to wonder if the day you'd use that word would ever come. They _did_ send you a map in that enrollment letter, right? Oh _god_ , you hope they did, because Jesus Christ were you shit with directions.

But, like a message from heaven, a crowd of bumbling and fumbling students appeared from almost nowhere. They all seemed to be heading in the same direction, so you decided to test your luck and follow them.

You began to thank the man (men?) in the sky for at least giving you a small functioning sense of clairvoyance when you began to near the auditorium. You weren't sure if certain students were supposed to be set up in a certain way, so you just went with the flow. Before you knew it, you were situated in between two strangers.

One of them decided to elbow you for some reason, and when you turned to glare daggers at them, you couldn't help but notice their odd charm. Curly hair, dark skin, impish ears, and a large, toothy grin. He was so charming he made you want to gag.

"Hey, I haven't seen you around," oh, was he talking to you? Why? Did you have some sign attached to you that said, _'Hey! I'm a very friendly person! Friends are welcome! Please talk to me!'_? No, you didn't. So _why_ was he talking?

"This is my second year here. I don't know why they make everyone attend the newbie orientation, but frankly, I don't really mind," the words, the words just kept flowing. Why wouldn't they stop? "If you want, I could give you a tour of the school after this! They give everyone a free hour, so we could use that time to do it if you want?"

Maybe if you ignored it, it'd go away?

He extended his hand towards you, his grin widening... if that were actually possible (which it isn't), "Leo Valdez."

Looks like your plan failed. If you shook his hand and gave him your name, would he finally shut up? You prayed to the God (Gods?) above that he'd give you a break and allowed this to work. So, with a grimace, you shook his hand, "Rosie O'Donnell."

You ignored the intense look of confusion on Leo's face and tuned out the rest of the orientation. You didn't mean to be a buzzkill, but... you wanted this whole thing to end as soon as possible.

* * *

Unfortunately, things did not end as soon as possible.

Leo was adamant on keeping his word—he really liked giving people tours, apparently—so he practically dragged you out of the auditorium by the time the orientation was over. You had lost all will to do anything by this point, so you just kind of... let him pull you.

"Annnnd that's the Modern Arts building! It looks pretty weird, but you wouldn't believe the way it's structured on the inside. The blueprints they used were real nice. They had to position the metal beams a certain way, and—"

Wow, he sure liked to talk... and _talk_.

"The Hephaestus and Athena kids actually helped in building the thing a few years back. Did you know the place took less than two years to complete?"

That _is_ kind of impressive—wait. Hephaestus and Athena... kids? Was there some sort of weird Sorting Hat thing going on at this school? Why use Greek Gods? It explained the name of the school, but... eh, whatever. You'd think about it later. It probably wasn't a big deal anyway.

Leo let go of your arm and stopped a few feet ahead of you, his eyes looking at you in expectancy. Did he say something? You weren't really paying attention. Not that you were sorry about it.

"So, I knew that was a joke back there—very funny, by the way—so what's your real name?"

You squinted.

"C'mon, I know your name isn't _actually_ Rosie O'Donnell."

You let out an offended scoff, "Excuse you, but the name Rosie O'Donnell is actually more common than you'd think."

"Wait, is your name really—" he stopped himself and placed his hands on his hips. Oh no, he was being filled with determination, "Seriously, I told you my name, so tell me yours."

Did the two of you form some sort of cult pact? You don't remember that. However, you suppose it'd be best to just tell him your name. He probably wouldn't leave you alone otherwise. You sighed, "[Surname]. [Name] [Surname]."

"Wow, that was easier than I thought it'd be."

"What was easier than you thought it'd be?"

"Getting you to tell me your name," he rubbed the back of his neck, his expression turning sheepish, "usually girls don't even give tell me their name, much less a fake name." He gave you a sly look, "Does this mean you're—"

"We literally just met, like, twenty or thirty minutes ago. Stop it."

Leo laughed. Why did he laugh? "Didn't hurt to try."

"No, but it hurt to watch."

He rolled his eyes (finally), "Okay, okay, settle down," his hands slid into his pockets, "I know you probably weren't listening to me ramble, but hopefully you got something out of this," he casually looked away, rocking on the heels of his feet, "I know I did."

You were going to jump off the next cliff you saw.

"Hey, Leo! There you are!"

Newcomer alert. This one had curly hair (even wilder than Leo's) and was female. A little more cheerful looking than he was too. Maybe.

"Hazel, what's up?"

"Oh, uh," she was walking towards him but changed course momentarily when she took notice of you. She gave you a polite smile, "Leo... didn't bother you, did he?"

Oh, definitely not. He only annoyed you for about half an hour. Luckily, your reward was his horrible flirting. You let out a tired breath, "No, he was fine." A bit out of character, but frankly, you were too tired to care anymore.

"Good!" Hazel seized Leo's arm and smiled apologetically, "Do you mind if I steal him away? It's... important."

"Be my guest."

"Okay, it was nice to meet you...?"

"[Name]."

"It was nice to meet you, [Name]! I hope to see you around!"

Leo waved to you, "Yeah, see you 'round, new girl."

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goodbyes were never really your thing.

With Leo finally out of the way, maybe you'd finally be able to find your way in peace. Despite him not noticing, you actually were paying attention to the tour—Leo was the thing you weren't paying attention to—so you were a little familiar with the campus now. The idea of thanking him later briefly crossed your mind, but... could you do it?

Perhaps.

For now, you were going to locate every single class on your schedule, even if it ended up killing you.

 


End file.
